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Not the plastic handle end—the steel end. Flathead, not Phillips. I just jiggled it around and took it out.

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This blog post is going to contain some sexual references that are bizarre, offensive and downright troubling, including incest and bestiality. Point two: because of this, people who tell you about their dreams are usually intensely apologetic about it. While I have very low tolerance for people who tell me that last night they flew to a castle made of marshmallows and Eamonn Holmes gave them a spoon with which to eat it, when people want to tell me their weird sex dreams, I am usually all ears.

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Cunt-Ups is an intense array of hyper-collaged sentences mostly about fucking, and being fucked. Gender shifts and perspective shifts and grammar shifts midsentence carry a wild lyrical energy. Each line surprises. The text seems to want to make you fuck it too, using language as a drug that gets you spun up in the limbs in blenders.

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So, the others can demand their students study stork delivery? Or teach anatomy with reproductive organ-less Barbie and Ken dolls? But STIs and pregnancy are just some of the consequences of sexual activity.

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My cat is so fucking weird. What the hell? I have no idea. Cats ARE weird.

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